Moorezilla

Tag: Butter

  • Butter like Buddha

    The states of fat form a Counterwealth.

    Another grand experiment begins!

    Having recently been told that butter need not be religiously refrigerated, I have migrated a stick from the fridge to the counter housing our other household fats.

    Note: don’t miss our groundbreaking, informative earlier post on butter.

    Day #1 of Countertop Butter – 3/12/12

    • 6:30AM: Put butter on warm When Pigs Fly raisin bread. Room temperature butter goes on warm bread about how you’d imagine soft butter would go on warmed bread. Bread tasted really buttery.
    • 6:35AM: Not sick.
    • 11:41AM: Still not sick.
    • 12:00PM: Now leaning toward the idea that butter, like honey, is magical and takes care of itself… and butter doesn’t need angry bees… just ceramic Buddha… and you can hang out with butter without looking over your shoulder for bears. Grizzly Man is a terrible film, but it did get me thinking about man-eating bears and the need to not let man-eating bears regain a foothold in Boston… if they ever had a foothold in Boston. If the great white sharks are back, can the bears really be all that far behind them?
    • 12:45PM: Wondering if countertop butter attracts unwanted ants.
    • 12:50PM: Wondering if unwanted ants (who apparently have supernatural strength for their size) can lift Buddha to get at the butter.
    • 1:23PM: Confident that Buddha’s too heavy for the ants. Contemplating setting up a Butter-cam, though… just to be safe.
    • 2:45PM: Wondering if people would pay to watch a Web feed from my butter cam. This is the type of thing that you’d probably think was stupid (and you’d be correct), but the real question is not “is it stupid,” but rather “are there enough stupid people willing to pay to see something stupid.”
    • 3:15PM: Still waiting for my business agent to return my call. *Sigh*
    • 11:07PM: I asked ceramic butter-keeper Buddha, “what is butter?” He replied, “forty years and three pounds of flax.” Butter Buddha is wise… or I’m drunk… again.

  • Churn, baby, churn!

    Classical Mound of Butter!
    Classical Mound of Butter!

    Part I of a IV part spirited defense of nature’s second greatest grease!

    Writing a defense of butter is in some ways akin to sticking up for the 1927 New York Yankees, the 1986 Chicago Bears, or the Mossad; none of them really need any help taking care of themselves, but once in a while it’s necessary to set the record straight, to expose false rumors, and to restore sanity to the public discussion.

    Although public opinion begrudgingly places butter above margarine and parkay these days, butter has not yet regained its rightful center spot in the nutritional pyramid, and I, for one, can no longer stomach such a glaring example of dietary discrimination.

    Most butter alarmists begin with a campaign of “butter offers little nutritional benefit and stops your heart, so why would you eat it?” In part one we’ll deal with the “no benefits in butter” part of this vicious, groundless slander.

    What’s good about butter? Here’s a START according to Donna Gates:

    1. Butter is rich in the most easily absorbable form of Vitamin A necessary for thyroid and adrenal health.
    2. Butter & Chocolate = goodness!
      Butter & Chocolate = goodness!

      Contains lauric acid, important in treating fungal infections and candida.

    3. Contains lecithin, essential for cholesterol metabolism.
    4. Contains anti-oxidants that protect against free radical damage.
    5. Has anti-oxidants that protect against weakening arteries.
    6. Is a great source of Vitamins E and K.
    7. Is a very rich source of the vital mineral selenium.
    8. Saturated fats in butter have strong anti-tumor and anti-cancer properties.
    9. Butter contains conjugated linoleic acid, which is a potent anti-cancer agent, muscle builder, and immunity booster
    10. Vitamin D found in butter is essential to absorption of calcium.
    11. Protects against tooth decay.
    12. Is your only source of an anti-stiffness factor, which protects against calcification of the joints.
    13. Anti-stiffness factor in butter also prevents hardening of the arteries, cataracts, and calcification of the pineal gland.
    14. Is a source of Activator X, which helps your body absorb minerals.
    15. churningIs a source of iodine in highly absorbable form.
    16. May promote fertility in women.
    17. Is a source of quick energy, and is not stored in your body’s adipose tissue.
    18. Cholesterol found in butterfat is essential to children’s brain and nervous system development.
    19. Contains Arachidonic Acid (AA) which plays a role in brain function and is a vital component of cell membranes.
    20. Protects against gastrointestinal infections in the very young or the elderly.

    In part II we’ll deal with the possible motivations behind “bad-talking butter” and expose the nutritional and pharmacological industries as little more than greedy, lobbying cabals concerned much more with the production of profits than the production of healthy consumers.

    And don’t fret about bacon; we’ll be getting to pork bellies after we’re done with butter. Never tried butter wrapped in bacon? Soon you will!